Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.52
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
Well it is the end of another volume of the (insert adjective) newsletter. I have to say that this past volume was the most (insert adjective) to write. It may have been the addition of a new (insert noun) or perhaps the progression of Gigi through the terrible twos into the (insert adjective) threes. I have been hard at work today washing dishes, cleaning toilets and (insert verb). Time is a fickle mistress. There seems to be enough when you are busy and there is too much when you are bored. Is there any way there could be too much time when you are busy and not enough time when you are bored. I guess if you had a full (insert noun) then time would always be on your side. This week I have come to realization that there is at least one food item that I believe to be delicious on (insert pronoun). Jenny and I were making dinner on Thursday night this past week, yes I sometimes (insert verb) with dinner, when I heard some terrible news. Jenny said, "Oh, no! The tab for the (insert noun) ripped off and I can't get it open now." (I will tell the real noun at the end so you know what I believe heaven on Earth is) I being a strong (insert adjective) man (insert verb) into action. Using my (insert adjective) strength I pulled and pulled only to (insert verb) the bag from seam to (insert noun). I decided at that point I should store the (insert noun) in a ziplock bag. Once I used the (insert noun) I placed it in the fridge on my favorite (insert noun) where I can see easily see it. From that point on every time I make a (insert noun) I see that bag of (insert noun) and say, "Yeah that will make this snack a lot better." And that statement has come true every time I have said it.
It has always amazed me how much better everything is with either a little or a lot of bacon bits. Burritos are more succulent, chips are more chipper, bacon is more delicious, eggs are taste more eggy, and cereal is greasier. You can also read the complete first paragraph in the post script.
Trivia Time: Fill out the paragraph as indicated by the items in parentheses.
Quote of the Week (A Gigism): This is actually a story that happened on Sunday morning. It is a pretty typical ongoing in our house with little Gigi. This story's dialogue is verbatim. Setting; our house, Sunday morning just prior to breakfast still with sleepers in our eyes. Gigi had reported for her morning bathroom stop, I was promptly told to vacate the area. This usually means she will be performing a number 2. This was case that morning. I heard from the bathroom, "Daddy, I pooped!"
Me: "Good job, I will be there in a minute."
Gigi: "Dad come look at my poop. It looks like a snake."
I will have to admit that does has some pretty snake bowel movements. However, when I looked at this particular movement it was a snake section or a snake so tightly coiled it looked more like a baseball.
Me: "That is a funny looking snake."
Gigi: "Yeah, dad it's a snake."
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
Well it is the end of another volume of the audacious newsletter. I have to say that this past volume was the most diffcult to write. It may have been the addition of a new boy or perhaps the progression of Gigi through the terrible twos into the terriblier threes. I have been hard at work today washing dishes, cleaning toilets and sleeping. Time is a fickle mistress. There seems to be enough when you are busy and there is too much when you are bored. Is there any way there could be too much time when you are busy and not enough time when you are bored. I guess if you had a full schedule then time would always be on your side. This week I have come to realization that there is at least one food item that I believe to be delicious on everything. Jenny and I were making dinner on Thursday night this past week; yes I sometimes help with dinner, when I heard some terrible news. Jenny said, "Oh, no! The tab for the bacon bits ripped off and I can't get it open now." I being a strong handsome man leapt into action. Using my manly strength I pulled and pulled only to rip the bag from seam to seam. I decided at that point I should store the bacon bits in a ziplock bag. Once I used the bacon bits I placed it in the fridge on my favorite shelf where I can see easily see it. From that point on every time I make a snack I see that bag of bacon bits and say, "Yeah that will make this snack a lot better." And that statement has come true every time I have said it.
This message was approved by Eric Jones
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