Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.14

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.14
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
This is for all the people that are working today and for Presidents. As I sit here listening to my Valentine's Day (VD) gift, I can only think of so much to tell the world after my ¼ of a century mark as come and past. My VD gift is a wonderful gift that puts a smile on my face. I would just like to say that I received all of the gifts that I really wanted and more this past birthday. Here look for yourself.
My Birthday List
· U of U hoodie (Got it)
· Love for all mankind (This means I want somebody to make me love all mankind, not mankind the wrestler.) (Somebody tried to give me this but there are just too many idiots in the world.)
· Mustache comb
· Birthday Beard (Got it)
· Cobra Cai never die T-shirt. (Got it)
· New Jeans
· Calendar of motorcycles for 2009.
· I could use some more sweat pants.
· Jerry Sloan to never play the following players ever again this season: Jaron Collins, and Jason Hart. (Insiders say that this going to happen, also attached is graph of how better they are without JC on the court)
· A year supply of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (One box at a time please, this stuff goes bad.) (Thought that I got the first installment but turned out to be something better.)

In addition to all of this; after all was said and done yesterday and the crab boil spices had a chance to escape from my body, in ways you don't really want to know, my mom asked in all of your 25 years what was the most memorable? To which I responded, "Do you mean, what I remember?" I then began to state different things that I remembered. Like the time I crashed my bike into the brick wall and had blood running down my face and Brady riding his bike towards me and I think that I was angry then. Then I jumped a few years into the future when I said that I remembered playing football with my oldest brother Tim in the entryway of my parent's house. I remember playing basketball in the backyard with my brothers and Jason Caywood. Then that spawned the memory of the last basketball game we ever played as a group. In which I caused a fight between Tim and Brady, which turned ugly, quickly ending with head-butts, spitting and log throwing. All in all it was pretty awesome. There were many more memories of how I got beat up by my brother and how it hurt. Don't get me wrong there are a lot more memories I have of my brothers that aren't beating up, but those aren't funny memories. The readers want the funny. With my sister there are a lot of memories but a lot of them are just how we would come home from school and watch Days of Our Lives together. I then looked out the front window of my parent's house and saw the Bruse's house and thinking of the day it burned down. Seeing Lyndsey walking across the street crying and saying to me, "My house burned down" I was very unsympathetic. I mean come on people I had to walk home from school that day. After about one hour of remembering I said the following, (This is pretty much verbatim too) "In 25 years you can accumulate a lot of memories from fights to love to your first kiss when you are 18 when you think to yourself, 'is that my mustache or hers?' Turns out it was hers. And the funny part is," I said, "Is that I had to be talked into to kissing her by her." They all laughed I figured they were laughing at me not my joking manner of being. I followed that up with talk of how that has never happened again I never had to be talked into kissing anybody else I my life. As I nudged Jenny we both knew that wasn't true. If I remember correctly Jenny and mine first kiss was a 4 hour process of sweaty palms and her telling me that she is a good kisser, which is true. Then I remembered that after we kissed for the first time I asked politely, "Was a supposed to make a noise at the end?" I followed that question up with, "What the hell are you doing with your bottom lip?" I was really confused she was only the third person I had kissed. All in all I was scared that night but it has turned into one of the greatest memories that I own, which because I finally got enough courage to kiss her, that night has produced more good memories than Nintendo, naps, and sweatpants combined (that is to say everything awesome in this world).
Have a good week I know I will.
Eric Jones
The Blog www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com
PS After my mom heard the first kiss story with Jenny and me she said it is amazing that you are even married at all.
PPS No Trivia time this week which gives you an extra week to answer last week's question.