6.16.2008

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.30

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.30

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

"I am Samson!"  I exclaimed to my wife as she returned from her walk with the dogs on Saturday.  I had recently grabbed two trees with my bare hands pulled them from the ground.  Trees ain't got nothing on me.  My name is Sally O'Malley and I can kick, I can stretch, and I can kick.  I am fifty.  I mean I am Samson!  There still on tree that needs to come out.  I have been working on a plan of attack for some time now in my head.  Meanwhile trying to manage all of the little projects I have to do.  Like finish the fence in the backyard, make the driveway twice as big so I don't have to park on the street and, wife permitting, put in a miniature golf course.  I think that this will take years to design and implement but alas I will get it done, wife permitting.  We all know that permit is the most difficult to obtain in the world.  Anywho, with those two trees gone we will be able to do more in our yard like croquet, horseshoes, volleyball and (fingers crossed) a slip and slide.  You know that movie Blank Check?  Sometimes I feel like I am that kid just buying funny toys because I am an "adult" and I can.  Oh if you haven't seen Blank Check you need to rent it no wait buy it and then call me and I will watch it with you.

Trivia Time:  Yes Danny only a kid that didn't know how to write words would not write words on a car.  This week's question is a simple one, how strong am I? A) So strong I could beat any man, woman or child I want to. B) Not that strong, in fact a small gust of wind could potentially break my legs.  C) So Strong that when I walk I crush the concrete under my feet. D) Little girls laugh at my arms they are so small. 

Beat the Odds Tip:  Since I have been spending a lot time with little kids this past week I have released that they all love to pick their nose, as do love to sneak a pick, so the tip this week is: "If your nose starts to bleed that means you are picking it too much, or not enough."

Dads sure are great aren't they?  I have a dad.  He is a little bit older than me which is a good thing because now he full of wisdom.  One interesting thing about my dad is he really likes to read.  He could read all day long if didn't have to make money to support his lifestyle.  Also I have only heard my dad swear one time in my whole life.  That is pretty good because he has me as a son.  Another thing is he loves trees, bushes, and shrubberies.  His yard is so thick and lush that they have sent several search parties into his front yard to find missing children.  All they found was candy bars that I hide for safe keeping, by candy bars I mean sticks that I pretended to be candy bars.  Oh what can't you imagine when you are lost in your own front yard.  He also loves to put up Christmas lights; which in the past few years they have gotten more and more crazy.   I think that this year he is going to blow the world's mind with what he has going on in his mind.  Where would I be without a dad?  That is the type of question I like to ask myself as I ponder on the importance of dads.  I would probably be slumming it in some city like Ogden trying to get by collecting candy bars from the local foliage.  So I say thank you dad for all of your hard work, I am sure there are several people that would say you screwed up on this guy but I am here to tell you that you (and mom) were 100%  successful, unless you can't spelling and grammar then you were more like 97% but who cares about that crap?

Have a good week I know I will.  

Eric Jones

The Blog www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com

 

1 comment:

cdsdds said...

"If your nose starts to bleed that means you are picking it too much, or not enough."

According to Ralph Wiggum: "The doctor says I'd get a lot fewer nose bleeds if I would keep my finger out of there."