Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.51 (Rock N' Roll Lives in a small shack)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.51

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

 

            As we are now, not only in the downfall of Sports Heaven we are also in the middle of the best holiday seasons.  This time of the year gets started with Columbus Day followed up with Halloween, the Day of the Dead and Veteran's Day.  What a crazy time to be alive.  Now that Jenny and I are home owners it is getting difficult to stay ahead of the holiday curve so we decided to just make one decoration that covers all the seasons and holidays.  It is essentially the ugliest thing you have ever seen, but we don't have to change our decorations.  This decoration has it all streamers, ribbons, bows and fireworks.  It somewhat looks like a Christmas tree with a cottontail and candle on the inside to make it light up.  Oh, don't forget about the feathers and hearts that are randomly thrown on the tree like shape.  There are also shamrocks and a small book of jokes that you can use to tease people.  But be careful because if you get too close the motion sensors will trip and the fireworks will go off.  Since we are in Utah we decided to put the decoration in a pushcart.  So when you all are taking down you seasonal decorations just think of Jenny and I lounging around simply rotating our decoration to the appropriate time of year.  Oh there is a mummy that sits in the cart to scare people away, but only during Halloween the other times of the year he is there inviting people to spread joy and cheer among all those that can hear his voice.  Jenny said not to forget the miniature American flags.

                                               

Trivia Time:  Last week's answer is in 1936 Roosevelt defeated Landon with a 24.3% margin in the popular vote.  This week's question is who even reads this anymore?

 

Beat the Odds Tip:  When you go to a party don't assume that the food is free you should ask and ask often. – JH

 

            Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole…, Ole…, Ole, Real Salt Lake.  We are the Real Salt Lake no one can beat us we drink beer and wear Addidas.  Ok these aren't the words to the song; I stole them from the Bouncing Souls.  All I know is that RLS is in the Western Conference Finals and I am geared up and ready to go.  They are playing well and are doing it with Clint Mathis on the field.  I am going to assume that you all are not soccer fanatics so here is how it works.  You look at the best players in the world and they all have a few things in common.  They have fancy footwork, they know where the ball needs to go at any given moment, they hustle, and they have good speed.  Clint Mathis in his prime maybe had three of the four aspects.  Now he only has parts of one.  So you ask, why does such a player play on team that will be playing for a spot in the MLS finals?  Tim thinks that he might have some dirt on the coach and is blackmailing him for playing time.  I thought it was due to injuries however; the team is healthy now, so now I am going to side with Tim on this.  If only Jason Kreis, the coach, could see how bad he is.  That is why I feel it is my responsibility to boo the hell out of Mathis.  Now don't get me wrong I always follow up my booing with this statement, "If he proves me wrong I will single handedly apologize to everybody in the stadium."   I have not had to do that yet.  So keep "running full speed" Mathis and doing what you do best, yell at everybody.

 

Have a good week I know I will now keep your fingers crossed.

Eric Jones

www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com