Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.01

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.01

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

 

            Veterans Day edition!  This is a great day please note that we now have entered into a new volume so be sure to update your Christmas lists this year and ask for the first two bound volumes of the Raver at his best?   Anywho I need to put a disclaimer at the beginning of this week's letter.  There is a story that I feel needs to be shared but the man I was talking has funny words that were a little colorful.   So if the MPAA were to rate this letter it might be a PG or so.  Or maybe even a PG-13.  But really it is a demonstration of how life truly is awesome and needs to be enjoyed from start to finish.   To short of a time here on earth to not enjoy it.  Here is the story.  On Friday of this past week I, with a class mate was standing on the Trax' platform waiting for the train.   I was watching a man in the distance dance back and forth.  I thought I hope that, that man does not dance over here.   I told Dan Scott that he was dancing and it was funny.  Next thing I know he is right next to us and his mouth opens and now I am going to try and retype it word for word.   Man "Hey can I ask you guys a question?  What year you guys in?"

Dan said, "Junior year."  I said, "2007."  The man began to mumble something then he said, "Oh you are smart ass (repeated several times)."   He then asked, "What are you studying?"  I informed him, "Civil Engineering."  To which he replied, "Oh you are a smart ass." His question turned to Dan.   Dan quickly said to the man, "Civil Engineering."   He then said, "Oh just a couple of smart asses."  He then proceeded to tell us that he went to the U and graduated with some crazy outdoor degree.  He informed us that backpacking makes you tired and that white river rafting is fun.   Following up these obvious statements he asked, "Do you know which river was my favorite river to raft down?"  Since I knew him so well by this point I decided to venture a guess based on his build and hair color.   So I guessed, "The Nile?"  He mumbled something, realizing what I said he responded, "No, but I did go see that movie, you can see it you know.   If you go in the day it is only $4. Even you can afford that you douche."  I was shocked at what I had just heard so I began to laugh.   As I laughed he kept talking but I wasn't sure what I thought happened actually did happen so asked him, "Did you just call me a douche?"  He quickly responded, "Yes I did." After that I don't really remember what he said because I just kept on laughing about what had just transpired.   Now I can that I have been called a douche by a drunk and punched in the stomach by another drunken guy.  Needless to say that my humor and drunk don't mesh very well.   Who knew?

            Trivia Time:  There were many of that knew John Stockton was the most awesome player ever to grace the basketball court on a professional level.   Well besides the entire Harlem Globe Trotters?  This week's question is how many people currently reside in the state of Utah?   Also if you could tell me the projected growth of the Salt Lake Valley through the year 2050 that would be a great help.

            Which brings me to my last topic of this Veterans Day.  I currently have a professor that is requiring us to write some papers that demand we get information like the above second question.  I have the feeling that he, himself has been contracted to research and study topics of this nature and is using us as if we were is worker bees and he our queen.   That is not too far off either, him being a queen that is.

Have a good week I know I will.   

Eric Jones

The Blog www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com