Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.19
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
I have been quoted as saying, "If God made water taste better I would drink that." I would have to say since Jenny has enforced a new soda rule on me it seems like soda has become that much more appealing. Also soda went on sale last week. So here is what happened. Jenny imposes the new soda rule after my mom took my blood pressure and I came in second for the highest in my family. I thought that was good since I scored the highest on the blood pressure test with a staggering 142 over 70 something. Jenny was appalled and thus implemented the soda rule. To which I responded by ripping off my shirt and saying I am in top physical condition baby. I brought my A game and it is now! She didn't buy it. So now I am to only drink one can of soda a day. What a crock. Then after this rule is imposed we go to the Jazz game the Jazz won so we got free Big Macs the next day. I ate both of them so of course when we went to Sam's club she wouldn't let me eat the delicious hot dogs that they have there. It is a $1.50 for a foot long and a 32 ounce soda. Come on you can't pass that deal up baby. Anyway, we did however see a 36 pack of Pepsi, which Jenny bought only if I would follow rule. I said I would; my momma didn't raise no fool. So that is 36 cans of soda in my house; keep track because it gets better. Then one day Jenny calls me and asks what does the add say about soda on sale at Smith's. I told her it is buy 4 12 packs for $12 then get a 5th free. So she bought that deal. That is fantastic more soda in our house and one of the packages are Roy Rodgers. You all know how much I love my cherry coke. Then on Saturday Jenny's parents say we bought whole bunch of soda so take a 12 pack home with you so she grabs a 12 pack of the Dew. I haven't done the Dew yet but I will, you know I will. I think Jenny is really testing me to see what I will do under the pressure. I think that one day she will come home to see me covered in empty cans with a huge grin on my face; I will be so hopped up soda I won't care how much she yells at me because I have science's candy all up in my belly.
Trivia Time: Last week's winner was Teri and Kelly they knew that idiot drivers cause accidents. This week's question is assuming that I haven't drunk any of the soda in our house, how many cans of soda do we have in our house right now? The winner will be able to come over and enjoy one soda with me one day.
Also on Friday this past week it was my niece Bryce's birthday. What a cute little girl she is. Since her Bday party was at Jungle Jim's she took full advantage of the rides that were there. Now Jenny and I trying to win Aunt and Uncle of the year we decided to take Whitney and Taylor with us. The conversation in the car was pure gold. We talked about a lot of stuff because hey, let's face it kids opinion matter. The best was when I told Whitney that I didn't know how to get back to her parents house so she needed to guide. She did a fantastic job up until she knew about this great short cut by her house. We approached a crucial intersection that was only a few blocks from their house and turning would take you a long ways away from the direct route. She insisted that we make right turn so I did only to find ourselves on the road that takes you past airport two. This road is long and boring. We went for it all the way out to where ever it goes but she kept saying it was a shortcut. This route took twice maybe three times as long to get to her house but we arrived and I think that we all learned a valuable lesson: Driving the long way just to spend a little more time in the car with a child is good all around because the extra minutes of conversation we had we moments that cannot be bought in any store. That seems a little cheesy for this letter but it is the truth kids say the damndest things.
Have a good week I know I will.
Eric Jones
The Blog www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com
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