Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.25

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.25

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

            Thank you to all of you that helped me realize that I misspelled booger.  I just spelled it how it sounded man.  It is like a word that could either way.  Any who, school is done for now but it starts again on Monday.  Man, I think that I need a nap or something like that.  Does any one else feel like that?  What is a boy to do?  This week there are celebrations from marriages to presentations.  My BFF Danny Sorensen is getting married.  He is a handsome devil, and found himself one hell of a gal to be his bride.  I have only seen her a few times since Christmas so I guess she is a real person and not just a big doll that Danny is carrying around with him where every he goes.   Really she has been going to a lot of parities where people shower her with gifts aplenty.  If there is one word of advice I can give a couple about to tie the knot is to get as much stuff from other people as possible.  Because from a guys standpoint, shopping for that stuff after is so boring. I remember that Jenny and I had to go buy a paper towel holder.  When every we go shopping for stuff like that I always feel like an underdog team that is about to play the best team in the league.  Pumping myself up before I get into the "game".  However, unlike a true Cinderella story I quickly give up after seeing all of the choices and smelling all of the crazy smells that are in the store.  Can't we just have a stick on the tree to hold our paper towels?  That will work for me.  But instead, it requires us to pick every option there is looking each over with a lot of care.  The whole time I am thinking lets just get one and if we don't like who cares it sits on the back of the counter and we only use every once and a while.  That attitude gets you yelled at Danny.  So here is what I have found works the best for me.  Oh you are going shopping, I say to her.  She says, "Yeah," and then she asks, "Do you want to come?"  Which is code for, "You had better come or your sleeping arrangement will be greatly altered."  After hearing this I look at her trying to stall so I can think of something I have to do around the house.  This usually ends up being TV, which is not a good excuse.  So I go thinking it wont be that bad.  But it is!  Every time.  So this works the best for me.  The people that work at these stores usually appear to be very bored, probably because they are working at a boring store.  So what I do is make jokes so much that Jenny starts to get embarrassed or mad, usually she gets mad.  Which is okay because I don't get in trouble for her being mad.  Then what I like to do is try and make her buy stuff she doesn't want.  I do this by putting things in her basket with out her looking.  Then when she gets mad I tell her that I am just training her for when she has kids at the store with her.  So Danny my advice to you is make sure that you have had plenty to eat and drink before you go shopping because women can shop forever.  Also make to sure to on top of your comedy game otherwise you are going to get really bored and possibly angry.  Or better yet just fake the stomach flu.  Then you wont have to go!

 

Also this week I will be giving a presentation on a paper I wrote for the American Water Resources Association.  All I did was shorten the paper I have already been working on.  The paper I submitted has a lot of mistakes and how it was selected is a mystery.  I think that is because there was only a few entries so we all.  Any who, tomorrow from 12:30 to 4:30 I will be presenting, sometime in there, at the Department of Natural Resources building.

 

Have a good week I know I will.  

Eric Jones

The Blog www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com