Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 4.46
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
In ancient civilizations a person like me was often misunderstood. Nobody knew why somebody would go to such great lengths to be just so good looking but hey if I want to rinse lather repeat more than what is recommended on the shampoo bottle then so be it. I like my hair to be silky and smooth so when I run my hands through there is no friction therefore there is no accidental hair pullage. I know pullage isn't a word or at least it is not a word according to spell-check. Stupid spell-check, doesn't it know that I am not using the traditional dictionary? I am using a dictionary that I have been writing for some time now. The most important aspect of my dictionary is that the last few pages are blank implying that there will be a sequel. And not a sequel that puts in words like jive or tubular or whatever words kids come up. It will be a sequel that takes a young man on journey through some haunted forest and the only way to beat the evil dragons or wizards or girls is to use his dictionary and befuddle them with word play. Oh man I think that it will be revered as the best sequel to any dictionary ever. Way better than Dictionary II by Webster. That sequel was just a rip off of his previous work. It was just a like a bad movie sequel that uses the same story but changes a few things so it is "new" and "fresh." Webster is a hack. (Wow that statement cut me to the core)
Trivia Time: There was some confusion on last week's question and the answer maybe it is science based maybe it is not. Who really knows? This week's question is what is my wife's least favorite birthday experience? (Not counting this year)
Beat the Odds Tip: Eating regularly will ensure life.
With Halloween out of the way we can now start the important stuff that but once a year. Stretching our stomachs so we will be able to hibernate through the winter. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and that means at least three hours of non-stop cooking and eating. Not just regular eating either it will be in your face eating with turkey and gravy and all that other stuff that is on the table during thanksgiving. This year more than ever I have plenty to be thankful for. I have my health and I have looks and I have other important stuff like wife and kid and dogs. Those items are in no particular order. But I think almost as important as those items I have half a sack of candy sitting at home that I plan on eating methodically and with great delight. Ever since I heard about the potential of a Soda tax in Utah and the on going threat of diabetes I have decided to stop drinking Pepsi. However this decision came at a bad time because I had several cans of Pepsi (aka liquid gold) sitting in my garage so it was decided that I would not buy any new sodas and as soon as I am done drinking the soda from the garage I would be done with it forever, or until I am forced to drink again. I am telling you this now because I am down to a handful of cans. This will be the last week of soda consumption for this guy. Or it will be the last week of a cheerful me? Only time will tell.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
1 comment:
good luck, watch out for the rebound headaches
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