11.09.2009

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 4.47 (Later than late edition)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 4.47

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

 

Well it is official I drank my last can of soda or drink in a can or nectar of the Gods or sweet elixir from on high or water's more awesome brother. You know, there are lots of names for the sweet juice known as soda. I have been into the belly of the beast. I was just offered a soda for free but I declined the Pepsi and took a Red Crème Soda instead. I know that technically you could count that as a soda, but I didn't want to offend the person who offered the drink. So I guess I will never truly be able to quit soda here are some rules I have established so I don't feel like I am cheating myself.

1)      If I am in a location where the only options of a safe liquid to drink are bottled water, soda or alcoholic beverages, I will be allowed to drink a soda.

2)      If I am ever trapped under a soda machine and the only way I will survive is to drink soda, I will be allowed to drink a soda.

3)      If I find myself drowning in a large barrel of soda and I think that I could potentially drink enough to safe my life, I will be allowed to drink a soda.

4)      If I am offered a soda by a female human in between the ages of 100 – 105, I will be allowed to drink a soda.

Those are a few exceptions to the rule of not drinking soda. I am sure when times are rough there will be more exceptions. Like for instance if I was accepted to the astronaut program I would probably drink a soda to celebrate.

 

Trivia Time: My wife's least favorite birthday experience was when her mom threw a surprise birthday party for her. She wanted to plan her own party and the surprise party ruined that. This week's question is how often does a person need to sleep in order to maintain sanity?

 

Beat the Odds Tip: Hair grows back well for some people

 

For those of you that are not my bffs (Best Friends Forever) on Facebook with me I wanted to tell you that in light of the Jazz season I am starting a movement. A Bowel Movement, movement. From now on when you do number 2 it is no longer known as 'Taking a dump' it will be known as from this point forward as 'Taking a Jazz.' I think that this is appropriate after the first 6 games of the season. Also I am on a boycott of the Jazz until they start to play like I know that they can.

 

Have a good week I know I will

Eric Jones

www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com

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