Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.19

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.19

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain


You know the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well I think that this saying can be applied to more than just a child. For instance, we can say, "It takes a circus to entertain a family." Or, "It takes an airplane crash to create one of the greatest TV shows ever (Lost)." Or, "It takes ten (or however many you have) uninjured fingers to function normally in today's unaccommodating society." With the latest injury to my person occurring on my bird finger it amazing to me how much I actually use said finger in a non-angry way. I am sure the bird finger is useful because it is the longest and potentially strongest finger but really when you think about it, the bird finger is like the general of the hand. He is protected on either side by two other fingers. You don't really need him to do anything solo, except direct disgust at another person. He is the general because he says stuff like, "Hey thumb and index pick up that paper clip." Or, "Hey pinky pick the nose, you are sleek and can get up there easier." Or, "Ring finger, wear this ring." Really I'd say that you could pretty much cut that finger off and life would be normal living. But now that I have the finger and I can't use it because of pain it is amazing to me how often I use the finger. I use it to scratch my head, now I have to use my index finger or pinky. It just isn't the same, by the way. I used my bird finer as leverage when opening stuff like, hard to open cans or doors. Can't do that anymore. There are several other aspects of life that are disrupted because of this finger, including private maters in the restroom. Oh I think I forgot to mention that the injured finger is on my right (dominate) hand. So now think about those private maters in the bathroom, more than ever I wish I had a bidet. I can't switch wipe so instead I just wipe with a finger out and with long fingers that can be dangerous that close to dirty waters. Life is not good right now.


Trivia Time: It doesn't look like the Suns are going to beat the Lakers, I guess the Celtics will have to do it. Attached is a spreadsheet of movies you just have to type the title of the movie in the appropriate spot. It tells you if you are correct or not. It took some effort but I and several people I know have completed the spreadsheet. (Those that only read the blog but would like the spreadsheet let me know and I will send it your way.) I did not create the spreadsheet.


Guess the Injury: My bird fingernail is black, not because I am in a band or anything like that but because I hurt it. It happened on Saturday, like the majority of my injuries, and I was outside. The tip of my bird finger is swollen and I cannot bend it. The pain was instantaneous and it still continues to throb as I use it frequently.


Lasers are like the best weapon that man has ever invented. So last Christmas I organized a Laser Tag game that was revered as both awesome and crazy. I have decided to organize a game again in hopes to keep our combat skills alive. You know in case of a war or maybe some sort uprising that starts in Arizona and works it way north. Anyway we need to be sharp peopling (Peopling was suggested by Word, stupid computer) no more of this sitting around thinking the military is going to fight our fights for us. We need to be trained in the latest warfare techniques. Lasers will be the weapon of the future and so we need to know what we are doing so we can beat the aliens that come to attack us. Here is the post I put on the book, "Alright everybody I am trying to get a passionate night of Laser Tag together again. You know like we did last time. I am looking at the last weekend in June that would be the 25th or 26th. Who wants in? We need 30 people first come first serve." I have 10 people right now.


A quick finishing note Stephanie (Jenny's (My wife) sister or my sister-in-law) had another baby. This time it was a girl. Stephanie is 3 for 3. That means the last three years she has had a baby. Rumor has it she already pregnant with next year's baby (Unconfirmed: Snopes didn't have it on their website yet.). Congrats to her (Stephanie) and her (Stephanie's) family on baby Samantha. Seeing the baby made we want to put Gigi in a suspended animation chamber so she would stop moving around. This was after she face planted on the tile because she was standing on a toy with wheels and trying to grab onto the table. I like the adventure in her blood but really Gigi, really?


Have a good week I know I will

Eric Jones


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