Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.29 (More Exciting News From Central Utah)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.29
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain

Well I spent another week in Central Utah and I received more farmer wisdom learned more about it what means to be a good American, had a lot of time to reflect on life and how it all works. Central Utah is a place I could live because people are nice and if you plan it right your neighbor is a long ways away. I have always thought that if people lived further away from me I wouldn't get bothered by them. Something else I really like about Central Utah is that the towns have goofy names. I know that a lot the names are biblical or book of mormonical. But every once and awhile you get a really goofy Utah town name. Like Sigurd which is a small town settled by Danish people. Or an adjacent town called Vermillion. Vermillion was originally called Neversweat because of the humidity. Later the town named was changed because of the brilliant red coloring of the surrounding mountains. Some of my favorite names are ones that are renamed for fun reasons. Mostly I like to think about the town meeting where they decided to change the name from its original name to a new hip cool name. For instance, Fairview, Utah was originally North Bend. I guess they wanted something more enticing to generate more commerce from tourists. I am sure since the change they have seen tourist spending increase from 0 to like $50 a years. Boo yah what's in the name? Anyway the town was changed from North Bend, named this because the town was established on the north bend of the San Pitch River; to Fairview because Ol' Archibald Anderson thought the town would get more tourists if it were called Fairview. Because people always want to view at something fair. This brings me to what I feel is the best named anything in the World. Mollies Nipple (a real place) is a small Utah town in Kane County. It is two miles south of Nipple Lake which is in Kitchen Canyon. Kitchen Canyon and Nipple Lake were named by John Kitchen who apparently had an attractive wife or at least a well endowed wife or a wife that was easy to get along with, wink, wink, because cowhands say that the town was named such as a compliment to John Kitchen's bride. I think that the only way to be truly remembered is to have a town named after one of your features. So live on Molly Kitchen.

Trivia Time: Friendship is the most valuable kind of ship. What was Manti, Utah originally called?

Central provides easy living. As I talked to a farmer, that only stopped to warn us not to proceed due to muddy terrain, I realized that people in Central Utah move a little slower, talker a little slower and have a lot of time. How does this work? How do you do things slower but have more time to do them? The farmer said that we better not spend too much time in these parts or we will want to move down here. To which I responded, "I could see myself living here, people seem to be a lot nicer." He smiled took another puff on his cigarette and said, "Well people down here have more time to be nice." So being nice is a factor of time. I have thought about this statement. We have more time to be nice. I guess when you get to the root of the statement you realize that being nice requires a ridiculous amount of patience. I don't know if you know this or not but people are annoying creatures. The more patient a person is the nicer they are, or the slower they are to react to what people do the nicer they are. This is one of the reasons why Jenny and I work because she is a patient person. I am not implying that my wife is slow.

Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones

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