12.05.2011

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.35 (Tis the season to steam)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.35

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

As I sit here with Return of Jedi playing in the background I can hear Grayson cheering because he knows that the Rebel Alliance will soon have its revenge on the Empire and all will be well in a galaxy far, far away. Oh wait that's not cheering he is crying because he is hungry. Taking care of kids is like making eggs. You can't throw some eggs in a dish and walk away you have to be ever vigilant otherwise you wind up with burnt eggs. Speaking of which is it safe for kids to eat burnt eggs? You all know I am just kidding I would never feed my kids anything I wouldn't eat which is why we have been eating Doritos and cookies. I say if it is good enough for American teenagers then it is probably good enough for 90% of the population. So as we have now entered into the realm of Christmas our thoughts should be turned to the most important things in our life. You all know what I am talking about. Do I even know what I am talking about? All I know is that I witnessed a miracle yesterday as we comfortably put 19 kids and 25 adults in our little home. Well I guess I use comfortable in the loosest of terms. We got them all in there and there were seats for most of the people. Also most of the kids just played in Gigi's room. She enjoyed that for about an hour then somebody said they saw her standing in the middle of the room screaming, "Get out of my room!" After the dust settled and furniture was returned to its proper place I had steamed the floors 3 times this weekend. Which takes my running total of times I have steamed our floors up to 3. What did I learn about steaming floors? If I ever get rich enough to afford it I want somebody to push to a steam cleaner in front of me as I walk barefoot on the warmth of the steam cleaned floors. Jenny told me that I shouldn't step where I just steamed but it was like a drug. At first my toe touched the steamed area. It was so nice the next time I put half of my foot in the steamed areas, then my whole foot. It was so nice like one of those towels that they give you at fancy rib places. You know the warm moist toweletts. Oh how sweet it is to clean BBQ sauce off of your face with a warm towel. Maybe instead of somebody pushing a steam mop in front of me it could just be a steam room that I can control like a motorized wheel chair. Oh that would be both awesome and creepy. On third thought I guess really I would much rather just have a steam room in my house that I can lock from the inside so I don't have to see anybody and can just enjoy my steam room to myself. Merry Christmas Eric.

 

Trivia Time: What was your favorite gift?

 

Have a good week I know I will

Eric Jones

www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com


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