Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.47
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
I don't consider myself an adventurous man but this past Friday I took my family on an adventure that we will not soon forget. The setting, Friday night, Jenny was wondering where we were going to eat. She recommended that we go to the wing place I want to eat at. I had been home from work for about an hour which was long enough to know I didn't want to drive to Lehi with Gigi and eat at a restaurant. So we decided on Wing Nutz which is in Sandy but I still didn't want to sit in a restaurant with Gigi who at this point in the day was a lot like that kid from "Pet Cemetery." You know she was saying stuff like, "I played with mommy, now I want to play with you." All the while she wielded a surgical knife in her dominant right hand slashing at anything living thing that stood in her way. Okay so maybe that was an exaggeration but you get the idea. She was unbearable. So as we looked at the menu for Wing Nutz on half the screen I watched the Big East semifinals on the other half. I knew if we were going to a restaurant I would need to have ESPN on with the Big East game silently dancing for my enjoyment. Alas we couldn't figure out the Wing Nutz menu and didn't feel comfortable ordering out for our first visit to a restaurant. So Jenny did what she does best, she authoritatively spoke the words, "To the coupon book." She dashed outside to the car returning with a coupon book that has seen more action than most of college text books ever did. She can manipulate a coupon book like a clergyman can recite Biblical passages. She did however stumble upon the beginnings of one great adventure. She found a coupon that would entitle us to a BOGO (That stands for Buy One Get One free in the coupon world) 6 or 8 inch Philly cheese steak. To be honest I don't care what the deal is, I heard, "Philly cheese steak" and I am out the door. So off we went to a "new" restaurant called, "The Philadelphian." As we drove I kept thinking we have to hurry if we are going to catch the end of the game. We arrived in plenty of time to see the end but the first thing I noticed when entering the restaurant was that they didn't have a TV. What? Where are we, the moon? A plethora of thoughts rushed through my mind namely, "Why are we still here?" This thought would creep its way back into my mind several times during our brief stay at the restaurant. We ordered our food by confidently sliding our BOGO coupon to the young lady taking orders. I told her that I wanted a 12 inch Philly cheese steak. Her response was the following, "Are you planning on using this coupon?" I gleefully retorted, "Yes we are." She then informed us that in order to use this coupon you have to buy a 6 or 8 inch sandwich to get the second one for free. I then used my teenage whit and indicated to her that if she would simply allow me to purchase a 12 inch sandwich she would be making more money. She understood the principle but said for book keeping reasons we couldn't get a foot long. I hung my head in disgust and once again thought "Why are we still at this restaurant?" We completed our order and Jenny took the kids to sit down, as she did so she noticed our neighbors were also in the restaurant. When they acknowledged our presence he said, "Welcome to one of the gems of the valley." At this point I hadn't had time to scan the restaurant but Jenny was well aware of the location we were dining in. As I sat down the first thing I noticed were the stacks and stacks of boxes everywhere. Then I noticed the carpet. As an Engineer you spend a lot of time starring at the carpet. I have seen a lot of great carpets but the carpet in this restaurant was far from walk-able. I don't think that the rubber soles of my shoes provided enough protection from the organisms that lived on that carpet. It was at this point I told Jenny that the restaurant had been there for 23 years. She then joked, "Yeah and it is yet to be cleaned." They always say most jokes have some truth to them. This joke was 99% true. As evidenced by the wall directly above the grill. I am sure it was white at one point but now it was a crazy brown pooh color. As our food came out our neighbors were leaving and gave the restaurant a big vote of confidence. They said, "Well we have never gotten sick from the food here." I didn't do a sigh of relief I simple took in the moment and realized that this restaurant actually scores an 8 on the ambiance scale for me. This scale is primarily based on the danger of eating at the restaurant. The only places that have received a perfect 10 are the taco stands downtown. I will have to say this if you can tolerate the filth then you are in store for a delicious sandwich. The next time I eat there it will be take out. I would also to report that Jenny and I are both healthy and happy for our gained experience. Also as I have talked to other people that have gone to the restaurant their opinion is essentially the same as mine. Pretty good food but the filth is absurd.
Trivia Time: What was your greatest food adventure?
Quote of the Week: "Am I eating chicken or tuna?" – Jessica Simpson
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
This message was approved by Eric Jones
1 comment:
The filth IS absurd!! I have fond memories of my first time at this "gem." Wqq111qq1. That's what my nephew Knox has to say about the subject. And with that, I bid thee farewell.
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