Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 3.34
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
Some of you still read and others just skip; at the bottom of the newsletter it reads, "Have a good week I know I will." It is has always been safe to say that because I believe that life is always a positive experience it is just that when I am negative I am really negative. I guess that can be annoying, anyway I am rambling like I am Danny Tanner or something like that. He is pretty cool if you ask me. What were we talking about? Oh yeah good weeks this last week was a good week sort of. Wednesday was not a good day therefore since the whole week wasn't good the statement at the bottom of the letter is not 100% accurate and if there is one thing I haven't done, in my 4 plus years of writing this filth, is lie to you the reader. So here is what happened to me on Wednesday. But first…
Trivia Time: Last week's winner was Curtis he said that a man should cry only when his wife tells him to. I would also like to add a grown man can cry when reading where the Red Fern Grows, that book is sad I don't care who you are. This week's question is if an 8" by 10" photo is surrounded by a 2" wide picture frame, what is the area of the picture frame?
Beat the Odds Tip: Abraham Lincoln said, "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
So last Wednesday, I thought since Jenny didn't ride the bike to work that riding the bike would be time well spent. You know work on gluts and mumble mumble muscles. Ok I don't really know what muscles are called but I know I have them and I know how to use to them, so watch out or I will use them on you. Ok so I set off down the drive way and I started to petal when boom the back tire came ripping off. I hit my mid section on the handle bars and gripped, "Arrgh my groin!" Realizing what had happened I fastened the tire more securely to the bike. After washing my hands I set back out on the bike. Nobody every told me that riding a bike was so much work. I thought that the bike did most of the work for you. Turns out it doesn't. So I made it to trax, that sucks, taking your bike on trax that is. Arriving to the University I dismounted and began the slight climb to the north side of the campus. I approached the final hill and thought, "Hey, let's see how fast I can climb this little hill." Turns out after two petals the chain didn't want to do that. Slipping from the teeth the bike came to a stand still but my body did not. I flew forward over the handle bars and on to the ground. To which I responded with some more grunts, moans, aches and pains. Taking it slow I parked the bike in a safe place. When it came time to go home, I knew it wasn't going to be fun. I coasted the whole way across campus to the trax stop. I was on a roll no problems yet. Arriving at the Fashion Place west stop I began the short trek to my house. Petaling moderately, so as to not over work the poor bike, I began hearing an interesting sound coming from the back tire. Sort of a squeaking noise. I couldn't see anything then BOOM, the tire blew out like a baby who just had too many carrots for dinner. I had to walk the rest of the way home. Needless to say I walked to trax the rest of the week and properly won't get on a bike again unless somebody pays for my admission into the Tour de France.
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