Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.8
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
It's the final countdown, ba da ba ba ba da bup ba da… it's the final count. This is it don't get scared now. I think that there are at least 1,000,000,000,000 quotes that I could use for this week as I prepare for Friday. What is Friday? You ask quietly to yourself. Friday is the big day Alice goes back down the rabbit hole and the Mad Hatter will be there to help over come her fears. Oh wait on Friday I am defending my thesis. I hope that everything goes well. I have done at least three hours worth of work so I think that I should be okay. I have never spent more than three hours on anything else in my life. I just wanted to let you all know that anybody can come to the defense if you want to sit there quietly and eat donuts. At least I think there will be donuts there. You all know the old saying, "You have to spend money to make donuts." I was told by my professor that it is not be a laugh track where I get up and try out new comic material. Rather I am to present the facts with a smile on my face. I compiled my presentation and after reviewing it I am afraid that it is a little too boring. So I have decided to make it a more lively by putting Bill Nye the Science Guy clips in every slide, because nobody explains science Bill. In the end people will hoist me up on their shoulders and cheer, "Eric, Eric, Eric, you are somebody special!" To which I will reply with a cheer of my own, "Thank you. I guess my mom was right about me all along. I am special, very special." Then I picture somebody in the back of the room maybe a foreign exchange student say something like, "Big deal I did what he just did before I was potty trained." To which I will respond, "I don't care what you think or say. I am going to see Alice in Wonderland." Revenge is sweet.
Trivia Time: I have discovered that you can listen to the Get Up Kids for about 6 hours before you get up and do something else. Why are Europeans so good at cross country skiing? And why don't shoot targets while skiing? I think that would draw a crowd.
Beat the Odds Tip: Fiber is good if you don't plan on doing anything all but sitting on the toilet.
With the Olympics over I can finally start getting some sleep at night. I used to sit up in bed wondering if the USA won anymore medals that I didn't hear about. I would toss and turn picturing the athletes that were short changed because they lost their cool or they just did practice hard enough. Tears of angry would fall on my pillow when I would think about poor conditions and how they contributed to some of the failures on downhill courses. There is no reset button on life people these athletes tried their hardest and sometimes that just wasn't good enough. Then I watched this "sport" called Ice Dancing. What the heck is that all about? One time Jenny and I went ice skating and we tried to do what they were doing and it turns out we won an honorary gold medal. I think that of all the competitions Ice Dancing is the most painful to watch. Some might argue that it is Curling but once you get into curling and realize just how difficult of a sport it is then you will know that Ice Dancing is hands down the worst winter Olympic event ever. Way worse than rhythmic gymnastics. The crap is off the hook.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
1 comment:
As promised, I am leaving a comment on your blog since you commented on mine. Doesn't it feel great to know that somebody out there is paying attention? I can say that I do skim your newsletter every week, but mostly just to make sure you're not telling any scary stories about me!
P.S. You're always invited to "the place"...isn't everyone?
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