Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.13
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
Thank you to all that have sent your best wishes our way because of Frankie. Frankie is a good dog with a strong heart. His heart is about the only thing that wasn't malfunctioning last week. He has not made a full recovery but he has made a recovery. He still doesn't run or jump or bark like he used to but he can get up on his own now and walk on slippery surfaces. We have him on antibiotics in case he has tick paralysis and we have him on steroids for his spine. The X-rays showed no damage to his spine but the vet says there is some tenderness in his neck and hind legs. But if you squeeze me that hard I would wine about it too. Anywho, Frankie should be back to normal in a few weeks. He has a fighters spirit that is what is helping him pull through this difficult time. We are hoping that Frankie can make a full recovery for the annual Strut Your Mutt so he can show off. Maybe we will make a sign that says, "I was paralyzed a month ago but now I can walk. The power of cheese." Then maybe we can get a cheese sponsor. Cheese the extra special treat we give the dogs when they have been extra special good. But not too much. On a semi-related note Gigi likes Frankie how he is because he can't move fast; therefore she can walk over to him and "pet" him all she wants. Her version of petting is more like pulling and hitting. She is learning how to be soft with dogs and cousins, we hope. Every time I see Gigi walk I wished I had a baby Frankenstein costume because she walks like Frankenstein's creature. Oh, to be young again.
Trivia Time: Well I guess WVU can't win so our only hope is Butler. Go get 'em Bulldogs. This week's question how many skittles are too many? (In one sitting)
Beat the Odds Tip: Often times life comes at you fast you can either try and keep up with it, or you can just sit down and watch it pass you by.
Often times I am swept away in my own thoughts and I think about some of the greatest inventions that have been invented since I was born. Some might argue that the computer, microchips, and other things of that nature are the best but really some of those things were invented prior to my birth. The inventions I feel that have had or will have the most significant impact on this life in general are the following. (In no particular order)
- Bump It: this item is for your hair. It takes flat dull hair and makes it big full looking. The desire of every man, big poufy hair.
- Booty Pop: this item also worn by women or men, I guess, is special underwear that gives you that extra round rear-end. I think that this item is going to revolutionize something.
- The Karate Glove: The tagline for this item is, "No more bandages after karate class. Break anything with your hand, without the pain." If you find yourself breaking a lot things and your hand hurts afterwards then you might want to buy the karate glove. I think that this invention is one step closer to robotic police officers. You don't want to mess with Robopolice Person. (I didn't want to use Robocop for copyright purposes)
All of these inventions have patents on them so don't try and steal their ideas. We never know what inventions will be the next big thing. I mean look at the Snuggie. A blanket with arms? Most people probably got them because they said, "This is hilarious." Then after they started using it they realized just awesome it is. Now they say, "No more cold arms when I change the channels!" So don't miss your opportunity to be the first person on your block to own a Karate Glove. One more note about the Karate Glove, if anybody makes fun the glove all you have to do is go over and karate chop their house in half (Or maybe something more manageable).
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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