Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.15
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
Being a parent is a lot like a mule with a spinning wheel, nobody knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it. Oh wait I don't think that saying applies to being a parent. Maybe being a parent is a lot like owing an awesome toy and you want to make sure that the toy is kept in mint condition. Last night was the first night that our Gigi slept without her parents in close proximity. Do to work schedules and illness we had to do some jumping through hoops to make sure Frankie wasn't in charge of Gigi while we were at work. On a side note I am pretty sure that if the dog shows some sort of responsibility it is considered legal for said dog to watch a baby. Frankie is probably the most responsible dog I know. But luckily Jenny's parents and sister were able to coordinate what I think General Macarthur would consider one hell of a plan of attack. I think that if Brenda and Stephanie were in charge of the US army today these are the changes we would see. First, everybody would be clean. Second, everything would be clean. Third, nobody would be allowed to use their clean guns. Forth, food rations would consist of fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, nuts and lots of candy. Fifth, the army would be easily taken out because they would have to walk in straight lines always sweeping/vacuuming behind them. Sixth, Brenda would be in charge of cooking and cleaning up after the meals while the rest of the army just waited until it was time to move out. And finally seventh, there would be few soldiers that go AWOL because occupying the Bahamas is more fun than scary. But in all seriousness, family is probably the best invention since sliced bread. Sliced bread being invented the year prior to the invention of families. So thank you to all that have helped out in anyway. I am sure it will all come back to you ten fold when Gigi the becomes the wizard I am training her to be.
Trivia Time: I thought everyone should read Zach Josie's response to last week's trivia question since he is the foremost expert on the subject matter. (Morphing into animals) "since i am possibly the only expert you know know on the subject of humans morphing into animals. the correct answer is, whatever animal best suits the situation. for instance if i needed to attack aliens who have taken over the human by entering the mind, i would morph siberian tiger, its fast strong and durable. i would normally say polar bear, but it would only work if i were in the northern alaska/canada. bears are strong but do not see well. if this were a spying mission, to possibly foil a plan of these aliens, then you would want a fly or any other small quick insect. now lets pretend you have found a base of the aliens and it happens to be out doors. a bird of prey, like a red tailed hawk. would be an excellent morph for it can see far better than any other animal and has great hearing as well, choose an owl if the spying happens at night. if you have to steal something that is in a very dark room and is surrounded by red alarm lazers that will soumd if touched and slice on half whatever touches it, then a bat would work fine. finally, if this battle is going under the sea, use a dolphin for speed and locating, a whale or giant squid if going deep and if in large numbers, hammerhead shark for a fight, but if alone the whale or a great white will have to do" This week's question is what happens when you mix sand and Jenny?
Beat the Odds Tip: Buying toys for your kids to enjoy, good idea. Buying toys that you can enjoy while your kid wonders off and does something else, great idea.
In closing I would just like to thank the Utah Jazz for a season that was played. Please note that I left adjectives like good, well and any other word that denotes a positive experience. Guess what Jazz every game counts. Had you just beat the Timberwolves more than twice you could have been the team that was upset by the Trailblazers. Instead you are the team that under achieved once again because you lack the desire to win when it matters most, all of the time. I was going to finish this up with some more ranting about this and that but my, oh let's say, elbow kind of feels funny and I don't want to it hurt any further so I am going to stop now. The Jazz really took a huge Jazz this year.
PS I am still a huge Jazz fan but I am just a little bit tired of their failures. So I am not getting my hopes up but if they do well this round of playoffs it will be because 90% of the Denver Nuggets were injured or Fesenko is playing like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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