Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.40
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
***Editor's note: Jenny wanted me to inform all of you that her expectations for her birthday were more than adequately met. Also that last week's letter was merely my interpretation of my own performance not a critique by her.
With a little girl in the house that is beginning to talk there are a lot of common phrases heard around our house. Most of them start with, "I want…" She will say, "I want candy/cookie." She might also be standing at the fridge and say, "I want cheese." She will also ask for a drink of milk or juice. The frequency of these phrases is infrequent when compared to the phrase most often heard around our house, "I want to Nemo." This loosely interpreted means, I want to watch a movie of the infantile nature. Finding Nemo being one of her favorite movies she now calls movies, and TV, 'Nemo.' The most common phrase I say in my life now is, "No Nemo." This phrase took over the number one spot last week when the past number one phrase, "Gadfree," was chopped down at the knees by a cute little girl. So anyway I am going somewhere with this. Last night Jenny and I (mostly me) had a lot of dishes to do so we put in a Nemo for Gigi. Her favorite right now is Beauty and the Beast. As the movie was playing and Jenny and I were singing along to some of the best songs ever I told Jenny that the Beauty and Beast story is a lot like ours. I told her that I was once a handsome prince to proud to be nice so an old lady turned me into a beast then I met Jenny a beautiful bookworm who taught me how to love. She quickly said that is not at all like our story. So I asked, "What story is like us?" We were able to eliminate several stories right of the bat, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Cars and then it hit me. My dad is an appointed official so maybe we could be like the Lion King. Then we realized that my dad doesn't have any brothers so we were close but alas we are not like the Lion King. So we washed the dishes and Jenny said, "We are probably a little bit like Lady and the Tramp." To which I responded, "I don't know I don't really see myself as a Cocker Spaniel." She informed me that she would be Lady in the story and I would be the Tramp. So I guess that is it then, she is a lady and I am a tramp. These people that grew up on the South side of 70th south think they are such hot stuff. The only problem is I don't really like spaghetti.
Trivia Time: Life is a lot better when the Jazz win. What Disney movie best describes your life?
I am going to do some observational comedy now for a minute. Have you ever noticed that mom's can be yelling at somebody or something then they answer the phone and are the nicest creature on the face of the earth? I remember several times in my childhood when I was being me, annoying, and my mom was trying to get me to be a respectable human being (That is the plot of Mission Impossible 4 by the way). Then the phone would ring and she would be back to Delightful Ann or the DA. I asked Jenny if this same experience happened with her and her mom. She said yes it happened and I am sure that Brenda was also yelling at Jenny to be respectable. I was thinking about this because on Saturday we had the Missionaries at house for dinner and I noticed that Jenny wasn't talking normal. She was enunciating her words and talking slower than usual. I think maybe she thought that one of the Elders was foreign or mentally slow. I don't really know all I know is the only thing that kept me from calling her out at the table were the delicious enchiladas she made. I don't really have any punch line or anything else to add to this paragraph I just wanted to get it out there so maybe in the future you will recognize it. I for one try and stay true to me and if I am upset I just don't answer the phone or I answer it like a jerk.
Have a good week I know I will
This message was approved by Eric Jones