Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.42
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
We are in what could be the last great rivalry week for college football in Utah. With the Utah and BYU game a few days after Thanksgiving I can only imagine there will be family arguments about what team is going to win. We all know that if the Utah team "shows up" that it will be a no contest game. But we also know that if Utah wins BYU fans will just say, "Oh we had a young team and etc." Literally I think that BYU fans will say "etc." Anywho I digress. What I really wanted to talk about was the fact that there a few days every year that I am "worthless." The first day of the year is the first Thursday of March Madness. I can just sit in the same position for hours watching college basketball. It is awesome; I only move to get something to eat or to use the facilities. The other day is in this week. The day before Thanksgiving I might as well just slip into a comma only to wake up at 8:00 am on Tday to play football. This year is a little bit different with a blizzard blowing into to the Salt Lake Valley on Tuesday night. What will become of the Turkey Bowls? All I know is that I am showing up and will more than likely win the self-proclaimed MVP again this year. Only time will tell. Again I digress. Last year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I am pretty sure I just sat at my desk and stared into open space thinking about how great Thanksgiving is going to be. Thanksgiving is a pretty awesome holiday if you think about it. Not because of the Food or because of the Football or even Family (I call that the F-factor of a holiday which Thanksgiving ranks the highest on the F-factor Christmas is second on the F-factor list) but because of the napping. The N-Factor! I love a good Thanksgiving nap. It is like little angels from heaven come down to each person and grants them the gift of naps. Aren't naps the greatest invention since sliced bread? I took a nap yesterday because Gigi took a nap. I told myself that you don't want to go into Thanksgiving without proper nap practice; you might strain something like an eyelid. But worse than that you might forget something important like the removal of shoes. My nap yesterday I forgot to take off my shoes and the nap didn't take. There is nothing worse in this world than a nap that doesn't take. I might as well have not napped at all. Don't believe that last statement. If you ever get the chance to nap, I hope you nap.
Trivia Time: What days during are you "worthless"?
This past week I broke one of my cardinal rules with regards to exterior illumination. Also I broke another one of my cardinal rules in the process which is way worse than the other rule I broke. So I hung up Christmas lights outside this past weekend, breaking cardinal rule #16, Don't decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I only did this because I broke cardinal rule #3, Never listen to TV meteorologists. How could I break such an important rule? He said that Friday would be the last good day to put up Christmas lights until the week or so after Thanksgiving. I figured that it would be better to get the lights up sooner than later. After I got the lights up I felt so dirty like I had just broken one of the golden rules. This wasn't because I decorated before Thanksgiving; it was only because I listened to a TV meteorologist. I shouldn't be allowed to nap on Thanksgiving for this extreme behavior.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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This message was approved by Eric Jones
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