Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.43
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
My life is beginning to turn into one professional sports season after another well I guess it would be like semi-pro. As soon as one season ends another one begins. As you all remember Jenny and I were competing in the CHSOL which generated lots of excitement. There was a lot more strategy then I thought. You couldn't just play offense the whole time and expect to win. Jenny made some last minute runs but alas I won by 2. The final score was 10 – 8. Jenny did however walk away with the play of the season when she put the clothes pin on me just prior to us leaving her parents house. So she got double points because I went in public with the pin attached to my person. Oh you fool Eric is all I would say every time she scored points. She would always get so giggly every time she would put the pin on me. I just thought that the attention was nice. Well now that the CHSOL is over until next year, I can now prep for my next big season. The Home Alone Quote in Everyday Conversation League or HAQECL (You know the noise you make when get phlegm out or your throat). This game is played by quoting lines from Home Alone or Home Alone 2 to somebody while still maintaining the integrity of the conversation. This just means the quote you use has to fit into the context of the conversation. I will demonstrate how this is done using my favorite quote from Home Alone. Let's say you are out and about and somebody ask, "Where are you?" You can respond using this quote from Home Alone. You say, "I am over here you big horse's ass." That would get you 1 point. Last year I narrowly beat my friend Zach by one point. The HAQECL is a shorter season it goes from December 1 until December 25. The rules are simple but it is a gentlemen's game meaning you are on the honor code. I thought I would give another example to help you play the game. Let's say you are talking to somebody and they say, "Ok we will be back around 7." You can say, "When those guys come back I'll be ready." That would get you 1 point. So if you are unfamiliar with Home Alone quotes then you should probably look some up or just watch the movies over and over again. Good luck. Ok I just thought of another example that I will probably use. Let's say you are in a room and somebody comes and starts talking to you without knocking. You can say to them, "Don't you ever knock, phlegm wad?" That get's you a point. Oh I almost forgot one of the rules. You can only get one point per quote per day. No repeating the same quote over and over all day long. Just keep track of your score and we will tally them up after Christmas.
Trivia Time: What is the best Christmas movie?
It is the end of an era or so they say. I say that next year even though the game won't have the same implications because Utah will be in the PAC and BYU will be independent the big rivalry game will still get people's blood turning. People will still talk throughout the week about how Utah is going to win or about how BYU is going to win and the same jawing back and forth will occur amongst the fans. Bronco won't get his wish about the integrity of the game returning it will still be the same old, same old. Oh here is a tip for Bronco if you want to uphold the integrity of the game, kick a field goal on 4th and short when you are on your opponent's 15 yard line. No but seriously when you live right off the field magic happens on the field. Call it luck call it poor referring I am just going to call it blessings from heaven for righteous living. I'd rather have a lucky win than an unfortunate loss.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
--
This message was approved by Eric Jones
No comments:
Post a Comment