12.20.2010

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.46 (Merry Christmas to all...This letter has nothing to do with Christmas)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.46
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain

Everybody seems to make lists about stuff this time of year. Well everybody but me. So that streak ends here. I am going to make a list this year of letters that I thought were particularly good or at least parts of letters I thought were good. So this year the best google search that brought somebody to my blog was, "stupid mario brothers somebody told me the world was from me" Google search performed in Michigan USA. Congratulations Michigan you won something. Best Phrase typed in one of my newsletters, I have a couple of winners. In numerical order, 5.4 Gigi is like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park always testing the fences to see where she can break through. 5.5 My defense committee saying, "Thesis more like feces." 5.27 Central Utah Farmer says, "Things are tough and they are going to get tougher. City folk gonna come to us [farmers] looking for answers but we ain't got 'em." 5.29 Another Central Utah farmer saying, "Well people down here have more time to be nice." Then I thought, "So being nice is a factor of time."  5.40 Gigi constantly asks for Nemo and the phrase "No Nemo" is now my most uttered phrase. And now for the award you have all been waiting for, Best Letters of the Year. In 4th place, 5.14 "Gigi Brushes More Than Just Her Teeth." In 3rd place, "5.23 Bullet Bike on Fire, Maybe Utah Valley Isn't so Bad." In 2nd place, "5.12 Gigi Hides Mom's Car Keys." And the best newsletter of 2010 is, "5.15 Brenda and Stephanie Run the US Army." I realized that most of the finalists for the newsletter were from the beginning of the year which means that for the past several months you all have been reading stuff that wasn't even in the running for best newsletter. Although I think that this one could be up there. Thank you Governator.

Trivia Time: Nobody disagreed with me so I guess that is the best Christmas song of 2010. What is the best Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?

I asked the above question because once in a life time a person comes along that really changes how you look at the world or how you feel about a certain topic. Looking back at other generations we have people like Charles Lindberg, Amelia Earhart, John Pemberton, John Harrington/Thomas Crapper, the creator of string cheese (this is for the toddler generation), and last but not least somebody like Jimi Hendrix. The point is, there are a lot of these people that can change the way we look and feel about a certain facet of life. Arnold Schwarzenegger for me has done that. As a group of us sat around watching Jingle All the Way we were discussing the movies that Arnold has made and how he really hasn't made a bad movie since successfully immigrated to America. We all thought that it wasn't until he left his movie career to become governor that everything really started to go down the tube. We need Arnold to get back into the saddle and start making movies again. It doesn't matter what the movie is no matter how stupid the plot is, the world needs him to be the tough guy. We need him to jump out of a burning buildings, run somebody over in a car or one of the best things he did we need him to protect the jungles of Columbia from an alien invader. We need to hear classic lines like this gem from Commando, "Remember how I said I would kill you last? I lied." Or what about everything he said in the Kindergarten Cop, hilarious. "It's not a tumor." Is a quote I hear my dad say at least once a month. Just think about a world where our children can say, "Yeah I saw that Schwarzenegger movie when it originally came out in 2014, in the theater." I still remember the first Arnold movie I saw in the theater, it was Kindergarten Cop, oh what a great time that was. In fact for some reason every time I go back and read my old journal I turn to that day my Aunt took me to see that delightful movie. I am pretty sure I giggled my face off; this explains later life problems and names I was called as a pre-teen. So I ask, what is wrong with our economy today? The answer is the lack of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones

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This message was approved by Eric Jones

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