Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.50
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
**I took a break last week because what could have been better for your civil rights than not having to read (or skim, or delete from your email, or get angry at) this mush. But last time I checked (30 seconds ago) January 24, 2011 is not that special of a day. Important things about this day that could make it special enough to skip the newsletter. 1/24/1935 First canned beer goes on sale. 1/24/1908 Boy Scouts movement begins I don't know what this movement was but it was probably the foxtrot or something.
Often times as a I sit and think about what it is I am going to write in my short break for lunch (whoever thought you could have a good lunch in an hour is crazy a good lunch includes at least a half hour nap) I think about what have done in the past week and I have to say that apart from my normal up and down I really didn't do anything out of the ordinary nor did anything out of the ordinary happen to me and/or Jenny and/or Gigi. So I thought what is people would like to hear? I know that Frankie and Roscoe are two swinging single guys that always have good stories to tell so I called them on the phone and of course they had to fight over who told the story but in the end the Roscoe (aka Older Brother) gave Frankie a pink belly and Frankie said he could tell the story. Some important information you need to know about Frankie and Roscoe and other random items. Frankie is thought to have killed his first owner and this has either contributed to manic-depression or is the cause of his manic-depression. He also is very into sports and loves the Jazz which means he has been super depressed for the past week. Also he is the follow Roscoe tells him what to do and after some second guessing and debate he decides Roscoe knows best and does as he is told. Roscoe is the type that when you are in his presence he will trick you into thinking you are safe with and he will do anything and everything to protect then behind your back he spreads rumors about how much of a coward you are. Roscoe seems nice and as long as you don't tease him he is nice but once you get onto his naughty list then you are in trouble with him and you might as well give into his power.
So here is the story as told by Roscoe. Oh also they don't call us by name so you need to know what they call us. Eric – Dark Prince (No reference to the actual Dark Prince the name stems from the day we adopted them I was wearing a dark shirt) Jenny - Queen Clementine (This is because she always sweet to them and seems to be in charge of it all) Gigi – Terror or Threat or Iron Clutches (This name comes from the constant torment brought by her hands). Ok with that background information the story reads (as related by Roscoe, Frankie's version has more talk about adult content and is not suitable for a general audience Most of the adult content is not factual and is made up by Frankie so he seems cooler to Roscoe). Roscoe said, "It was a beautiful afternoon and we were in the yard trying to figure out how to get out so we could meet up with the gang (the gang is a Chihuahua that lives down the street and a couple of Great Danes) and play a game of four square (they love to play four square however they have not been able to a good game since they are dogs). It was a rough morning Queen Clementine had to work that day so she left us in a hurry, the only positive was that Terror was sent away to play with another small handed human. So we were in the back yard hanging out running, jumping and barking like we do when we heard a car in the front yard it was the Dark Prince he has come home to play with us. Then I realized that he was not there to play with us he just wanted a treat and then he was leaving again. It was our opportunity as he left through the back gate I took a rock and threw it perfectly to prevent the gate from closing. The Dark Prince was in a hurry he wouldn't realize it until it was too late. We were out but the gang was nowhere to be found so we couldn't play four square. Frankie suggested that we try and steal stuff so we went around trying to find something worth stealing. We made out to a busy street and saw our target a Men's Warehouse. We were going to get new suits so we could get ourselves some babes. So we zigged, we zagged and we were almost out of the store when a man dressed in blue, caught us. I knew to keep my mouth shut because they didn't have anything on us we were safe as long as we didn't say anything that would incriminate us. But of course they separated us and Frankie squealed he is such a squealer. So they threw us in the slammer. We spent the night and next day the Queen came and rescued us. The funny thing is I don't feel remorse for what I have done. If I could do it over again I would. I would escape but this time I would make sure have a look out. No copper is going to take me down, again."
Roscoe and Frankie lived happily ever after, well as happy as two dogs can live together that have completely conflicting personalities. Roscoe and Frankie the Odd Dog Couple.
Trivia Time: Has anyone ever been so tired their eyes burn?
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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This message was approved by Eric Jones
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