Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 5.51
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
Every time I hear something that is crazy it is important to me that I investigate said piece of information to verify the validity of the data. I have found in the past that often times when people hear information and buy into it they are the one that ends up with egg all over their face. I have been the victim of this several times. One such piece of information that I have told several hundred people is that Mark Eaton leads the NBA in all time 3-point shooting percentage with an amazing 100%. This fact, although very believable because maybe he took a last second shot from behind the arch and made it, is not true. Then he never shot one again. Turns out that he has taken two shots from behind the 3-point line and he didn't make either of them. To all of you that have heard me say this "factual" information I am sorry for getting your hopes up. I fear that I made Mark Eaton's career more illustrious than it really was. Anywho I digress, yet again. Jenny came home this past week and she told me that the USA Today recently put out a report that stated people that have their pets sleep in the same bed as them are more susceptible to the plague. Immediately I thought the plague huh? I am pretty sure Roscoe and Frankie don't have the plague. But when we started talking about it Frankie started to slink out of the room with a bindle on his back screaming my cover is blown abort the mission, Plague 2011. Frankie is such a jerk it is always the one don't suspect I am pretty sure Roscoe could be a member of a secret society that is attempting to bring back the plague. So anyway the researchers at UC-Davis (hippies) stated that animals could be infected by fleas that used to reside on rodents but have retired to a more serene life on the back of a house pet. In my investigation of the plague, which I thought was abolished when the bathtub really took off, I have found some interesting information and I think you should all be warned about what could happen if you are not careful. So wake up people.
From the mouth of the Center of Disease Control:INCIDENCE
- In the U.S., 1 to 40 cases reported annually (avg = 13 cases) by western states
- Worldwide, 2861 cases reported by 10 countries to WHO in 1995 (1,000 to 2,000 cases reported annually) (If you have time you should do the math on this and get the percentages of people that get the plague, I don't you want to play those odds)
- Rare, consequences of disseminated intravascular coagulation, lung damage
- Mortality 50-90% if untreated; 15% when diagnosed and treated
- Not known (It is good to know that the plague could cost you nothing finally something for free in this world, on the other hand the plague could cost you an arm and a leg)
- Flea-borne, from infected rodents to humans
- Direct contact with infected tissues or fluids from handling sick or dead animals
- Respiratory droplets from cats and humans with pneumonic plague
- Primarily wild rodents in U.S. (especially rock squirrels, ground squirrels, prairie dogs, other burrowing rodents)
- Commensal rats may be important elsewhere
- In the U.S., persons exposed to rodent fleas, wild rodents, or other susceptible animals in enzootic areas of western states
- Most cases occur in southwestern states of NM, AZ, CO, and in CA
- Highest rates in Native Americans, especially Navajos; other risk groups: hunters; veterinarians and pet owners handling infected cats; campers or hikers entering areas with outbreaks of animal plague
So after taking all of this into account the person I know that is the most susceptible to contracting the plague is Vardell. He is always hanging out with wild animals and who knows maybe one time he fell asleep and some fleas attacked him without him knowing. Also he sleeps with a dog, I think, I am not speaking from experience of watching him sleep or anything (suspicious whistling).
Trivia Time: Who will win the Super Bowl? I bet on cheese.
Have a good week I know I will