Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.02
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
In my life I have liked many things and hated many more things and as I watch the Gigi grow up I often think about why it is she likes certain things and doesn't like other things. So as we try and expand her realm of likes and diminish her dislike category we can ponder how her perception of (insert noun) will change as she progresses through life. In an attempt to comprehend how this works I have been searching through my life experience folders and replaying many of my life's experiences over and over. Throughout this process I keep running into the tuna fish sandwich. When I was young lad I would usually eat a tuna fish sandwich for lunch with lettuce and pickles I loved it. I also remember getting a Hawaiian Punch and some other sort of candy, no wonder I couldn't sit still in my classes after lunch. Anyway I ate lunch, my tuna fish sandwich and other assorted goods, at the end of the lunch table next to friends. I don't know who it was but the next thing I remember was vomit all over the table all over my sandwich, all over my drink and lunch bag. That lunch was ruined and the tuna fish sandwich was ruined as well I didn't eat another one for several years after that. I have started eating them again but it is still a mental chore to eat such a sandwich and no way am I putting a pickle on there. I don't think that this experience changed my perception of pickles I think that changed after some mouth surgery I had. Also probably like most people I can't tolerate vomit all over anything. Vomit belongs in one of two places the toilet, or in the woods were nobody will ever see it or the garbage can okay maybe three places. I would like to say that I have truly graduated into the realm of parenthood because this past weekend as I sat in the chair opposite of Gigi and she was finally eating some solid foods, (She has been sick since Thursday) grapes and they looked delicious. She started coughing and I looked at her and thought, "Oh no this is not going to happen." Then, she blew, what was on the inside came out to say hello I didn't want it to get all over everything so I caught it with my hands then realizing that was the worst idea ever, I used her grape container. Then there was the break in the throw up so I picked her up and ran to the bathroom yelling for Jenny because if there is something she is better at than me is anything vomit related. We made it to the bathroom without any more throw up but she was still making the throw up noise so I took her to the toilet. Turns out that the throwing up in the toilet is not a natural instinct and Gigi just sat and wondered why I was putting her head in the toilet. The worst part I forgot to hold the seat up and whack! Her hand didn't stand a chance smashed by the toilet seat what a terrible first experience with throwing up in the toilet now she is never going to want to put her head in the toilet again. What have I done, oh and then I started to dry heave then Jenny who just joined the madness also started to dry heave. All we needed some smart mouth older brother there saying something like, "I haven't seen this much vomit since Mrs Johnson brought rotten deviled eggs for an afternoon snack," and we would have had ourselves a hilarious sitcom with attitude. The point is there are so many things factor into why I don't like the Jazz right now but the most important being the vomit they call basketball I am forced to watch. Oh and Gigi still likes grapes so maybe vomit doesn't ruin everything just tuna fish sandwiches.
Trivia Time: Who was the best President of the United States? I am going to vote for Grover Cleveland.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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This message was approved by Eric Jones
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