Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.05
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
This time last week I was finishing up a hilarious round golf in San George (That is St. George translated from Spanish to English). That day the weather was good and other days the weather was okay. Count your blessings that you didn't go to San George thinking you were going to catch some rays and come back bronze and rested. I left on a Sunday and returned on another Sunday it is amazing how a week flies by when you have a whole bunch of stuff planned to do. Yet again driving to and from San George I encountered morons and Mormons (mostly morons that probably were Mormons) that somehow passed their driving tests. But I don't think that topic needs to be discussed again rather I would like to talk about these billboards that are up and down I-15 claiming something that I think is absurd at best. The signs make reference to a man from the 19th that made a discovery that by any means is not billboard worthy. The discovery would be like a man from today going to the Rockies and finding a massive mountain that is near an established people and saying that he discovered the mountain. Anywho the Utah version of this is Jim Bridger, who is a fantastic person and did wonders for exploration and "discovery" (probably better to call it re-discovery) of great Western treasures. Like the great Western treasure that resides here in Utah. The Great Salt Lake is a terminal water body that was used (by used I mean discovered but nobody has a billboard claiming it) centuries prior to birth of Jim Bridger. If I had enough money, which I don't, I would put up billboards next the Jim Bridger ones that said something like, "No he didn't" or "Somebody else discovered the Great Salt Lake in year 12" or "Jim Bridger Re-Discovered the Great Salt Lake." I think that would get the point across that there were people here long before the Jim Bridger. I am sure that Jim being a man of the wild is not the one taking credit for the discovery it is probably some non-profit organization that had some extra money left over and said, "We don't want to have to give money back or claim errant information on our taxes so let's put some billboards up." Then somebody asked, "What should the billboards say?" That question generated the following (potentially), "Oh you know something about somebody dead that discovered something important." Then that person went home and using his/hers 3rd grade kid's report about the West saw that Jim Bridger discovered the Great Salt Lake. Come to find out the 3rd grade kid didn't do a lot of fact checking but instead was playing Everquest with an online friend that may or may not be 10 years old. By the time the people realized their mistake it was too late but everything worked out on their taxes so they could still keep their non-profit status. The moral of the story is always eat your vegetables and get lots of rest because you never know when you are going to be making billboards that have errant data on them. But let us tip our hats to Jim Bridger and the Re-discovery of the Great Salt Lake.
Trivia Time: How many times are you going to see DWK2 this weekend? If you don't know what DWK2 is google it and enjoy.
So does anybody else's bracket look like something ran over it with a bulldozer and then lit it on fire and then threw it off a cliff and then let their dog chew on it for awhile? Because that is what mine looks like. I have just been wondering how I could have fallen into the Big East love affair again this year? Every year I say oh yeah the Big East is good they are going to do awesome. But alas they did not do good and they are not awesome in fact they are the opposite of awesome and probably should be eliminated from tournament play next year just to save me the stress of having to decide between them and some school I have never heard of. Well here is to hoping that Duke wins it all. Wait did I just say cheer for Duke. Oh man where have my morals gone?
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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This message was approved by Eric Jones
3 comments:
It would have been very wise of you to heed the sage advice by Mark Twain quoted at the top of this idiotic rant. Had you actually gone to the web site given on those billboards you would have discovered terms like "documented" and "non-Native American" used with reference to this discovery. The web site even raises the issue that there were possibly earlier, unsubstantiated sightings of the Lake by other white men. But it seems that Bridger was the first non-Native American to discover that it was salt water and thought that it was an arm of the Pacific Ocean.
@Anonymous (Too scared to be known)
I will admit that I didn't even see the website on the billboard which proves how stupid the billboards are. Now that I have been to the website I stand by what I have said. Also, I still think the mission of the billboard is not necessary because I knew who Jim Bridger was prior to the seeing oh I mean discovering the billboards because I went to school and paid attention. Also I had a father that tried to teach his children about the rich history of Utah because he loves this state. So maybe instead of a silly little joke rant about the signs being a tax break for the Regan organization I could have made a commentary about our public schools, our parenting ethics or any other form of education that our children are not receiving in today's society. But instead my little rant read by probably my wife, my dad and some people like you is only meant to make light of a tiny aspect of our society's downward spiral into despair (sorry about the doom and gloom but is happening people). (I don't know why I am even typing this nobody is going to read it anyway)
I thank you for your comments they have provided me the most excitement of the day apart from the pseudo heart attack I had trying to eat 4 packages of hot sauce (This is a joke it was only 3). I am sure that if we got to know one another we would talk and giggle but like I said we should get to know each other before we tell each other to, "shut up."
I am going to assume that you aren't even going to read this comment. Next time be a pal and comment with some sort of identification.
You didn't even mention the book citations your dad gave you about those French men. But I did see the website and I told you about it on messenger.
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