Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.14
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt
-Mark Twain
Well there was a wide range of emotions leading to this past Saturday. One thing that was good is that I got sick on Tuesday. So I worked a half day on Wednesday and went to my parent’s house and played FIFA World Cup Soccer. Then on Thursday I didn’t work and I watched Harry Potter all day long. So I knew that if I was going to die I was going to die having partaken in a few of favorite things. Friday I was supposed to play golf but the rain ruined that so I did my favorite thing and sat around the house with Wife and Child. All in all come Saturday morning I was ready to “jump” (You don’t jump out of the plane the person behind you pushes you out of the plane) out the plane and fall to ground with style (Like Buzz Light-year). I don’t think the experience can be expressed in words all I will say is if you think you are okay with high adventure sports you might not be okay with skydiving. It is unnerving to think about all of the people you have put your life into their hands but then again when you drive on the freeway you trust a lot more people. And the people on the freeways really can’t be called expert drivers at best most drivers are bad at driving. Whereas when you go skydiving with a tandem master you know that, one, the person doesn’t want to die and so they took care in the preparation of their parachute and two they are experts. So if you are ever bored with your existence and want to feel alive then go skydiving or if you have wanted to know what it feels like to have the wind blowing in your face at 110 MPH then go skydiving. Oh there is one more category if you have ever wanted to be securely attached to a young man (Front to Back) then go skydiving. I recommend it to all that want to do it, I felt safe once the parachute opened and new that the harness held up. People ask if I will do it again. To them I answer probably but not for awhile, mostly because it is expensive, but also because it is a math game the more you skydive the more likely you are to die from a skydiving accident. The whole experience, once you get pushed out of the plane, last about 5 minutes. So the breakdown is a minute of freefall (110 MPH or 162 ft/sec) then 4 minutes of glide time (14 MPH or 20 ft/sec). Or if you wanted to look at this way it is roughly $36 a minute to skydive.
Trivia Time: I saw a preview for Cowboys and Aliens and I am pretty excited for it. When will it be warm enough for me to do yard work in my speedo?
I still think the best experience of the weekend was skydiving but on Friday I had the most hilarious experience of the weekend. With a school in our front yard we get a lot bad report cards, poorly drawn pictures and math worksheets (all things kids want to forget). Also we get the occasional kickball. On Friday I was going out to my car to buy some vegetable plants, just in case I died I could still provide sustenance for Jenny and Gigi oh and BBJ. And wouldn’t you know there was a kickball in my driveway so I thought what better way to get this back to the kids then by showing them how I can kick a homerun. The distance was roughly 20 yards and I had to keep it high enough to get over the fence. I stepped up to the “plate” and boom a monster kick went sailing into the air, over the fence the crowd was cheering. Then it happened, wham, the ball slammed into a little girl’s back. Well she wasn’t that little but I am sure the ball stung a little bit I quickly apologized and she started to return back to her class room. I turned to see Jenny in the house; she had seen the whole thing and was laughing hysterically. Boy did I feel bad. I am sure that I have been put on some secret government list now and my house is constantly being monitored by the playground attendants.
Have a good week I know I will
Eric Jones
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