Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.29 (A long winded dream, that's me)

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.29

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

So here I sit listening to my favorite movie. The funny thing is I can both watch this movie with the volume turned down and still pretty much quote this movie verbatim or I can do as I am doing now, listen to the movie and visualize the entire on goings. Yes I have watched this movie that many times. Watching this movie makes me think about my dreams because often times I find myself smack dab in the middle of a murder mystery. Let's talk about dreams. I have always thought that cold weather alters your dreams (for the better). I am not sure but I think some experts at a college agree with that statement. I have two examples of how this has happened recently. The week following the birth of Grayson the weather turned cold and we don't really heat our house at night. You can conserve water by conserving energy (remember that people). I woke multiple times in the night always after Jenny was done feeding Grayson because she would roll over to get Baby Gray out of the basinet, pulling the sheets off of my person. If only Jenny would starch our sheets when she rolled back over the sheet would have slid back onto me, keeping me cozy. But alas Jenny prefers soft sheets so there I would lay, cold in my PJs. The first night I had a dream as follows (dream transition). I was going to investigate water use on a remote lot located in some rural part of Utah. I exited my vehicle and decided to walk the remaining 100 yards to the house. When I got to the house I saw that it was dilapidated and abandoned. I thought good luck on getting this approved (cynical governmental laugh). As I turned to leave I heard a lambs cry, I know what you are thinking Silence of the Lambs but it is not that scary. So I thought maybe we do have some water use after all. I had to open a gate to get in and see the animals. They had been neglected and all were about to either die or turn into carnivores to survive. I tried to call for help but I didn't have any cell phone reception. Why doesn't T-mobile provide cell coverage in my dreams? I decided I had better go back to my car to get help but as I turned to leave and there was a cougar blocking my exit. I was armed with the following items in my dream, a small knife, a clipboard, some paper, my ability to reason, and my whit. Turns out that 80% of those items are worthless against a cougar and 100% of those items will only make the cougar hungry for more. The cougar purred and attacked. I quickly went to my quiver and drew out my reasoning ability but the cougar wouldn't listen to reason. I turned to my whit but the cougar didn't have a sense of humor. I tossed the papers in the air as I ran for my life, but wouldn't you know, the cougar was not the water right owner and didn't want to review my work. The clipboard did distract him for a fraction of a second but he shrugged it off like some bad Thai food. I went to the knife when the cougar pounced on me like I was Zazu (yes Gigi and I have been watching a lot of Lion King). My only hope was to punch the cougar in the head (watch episode 2 of Guy on Buffalo time stamp 1:37 to get a good visual on this). I quickly woke up after this because you don't punch a cougar and get away with it. The second example of how being cold makes you have crazy dreams. As you may or may have gathered from past, present or future letters Gigi is a rambunctious little girl that knows what she wants and does what she wants regardless of what she is told to do. So there I was in a dream just dreaming away. This dream either took place in the future or another universe because some crazy science fiction junk was going down. Gigi had been especially evil as of late (again I want to put in a disclaimer here that we in a dream it is not reality). So Jenny and I told her that if she didn't start acting better we would activate her clone. For some reason in the dream society every new child came with a clone that grew at the same rate as the child just in case the child had a serious disease or accident. The clone could be activated to replace the "real McCoy." Also if you didn't use the clone by the time the child is 18 then the clone was destroyed. In the dream Gigi was a teenager but looked like a 2 year old. Jenny and I debated and debated about activating the clone. The dream gets fuzzy and weird at this point because we did activate the clone but the real Gigi was still alive. I woke up when I realized that clone was just as poorly behaved as the real Gigi. I couldn't catch a break in this dream. So when I woke up I tried to trick my brain into going back to the dream where I fought a cougar. I wanted to enter this dream because I did some mental exercising to make sure that dream Eric could run faster, jump higher, and punch harder than ever before. But instead of getting back into the cougar dream I just got into the shower and went to work tired. I am tired and cold a lot lately which probably explains a lot of the crazy things I have been saying, doing and eating.


Trivia Time: What is my favorite movie?


Have a good week I know I will

Eric Jones


This message was approved by Eric Jones

1 comment:

Map Maker said...

Well, I had to stop her from screaming!