4.09.2012

Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.50 (If the burning lasts for more than an hour call a doctor)

                     Ravings of a Mad Man: vol. 6.50    

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt

-Mark Twain

 

Last week was full of great adventures and silly stories told by Gigi but I can't remember them due to sleep deprivation. I remember one night sitting in my bed giggling to myself much like Donnie Darko did in the movie Donnie Darko. The only difference is I didn't know that I had just done some time traveling and was about to be crushed by a jet engine. Okay this last sentence probably doesn't make any sense if you haven't seen Donnie Darko. So for those of you in that category just picture me sitting in bed silently giggling to myself. Why was I giggling? Because I had inspiration for what I thought would be an awesome newsletter. However I had a Seinfeld moment and when I woke up the mental notes I made didn't make any sense. So now I will talk about my first trip to Wild Buffalo Wings. I will say that I give it two thumbs up. If you like Buffalo wings then you will love this place. They have more flavors than a two-year old can count. So they have like 20 ranging from not spicy to spices that were created in hell and delivered to them so as to incarcerate human's bowels for days to come. I ordered a flavor third from the bottom, the bottom being the spiciest. By the third wing of this flavor my mouth and tongue were numb with disgust because of brains decision. I guess my mouth was making my brain upset so it was punished. My brain is so clever. I remember uttering indiscernible chatter along the lines of, "This is the worst decision of my life," and "Why would anybody make anything so spicy?" That flavor is called Mango Habenero. Flavors I recommend for consumption are Buffalo Rub, Asian Zing, Honey BBQ, Teriyaki and Parmesan Garlic. I have another hot tip for those of you that are going for the first time. They have wet wipes on the table; you know where they put sugar packets. Instead of sugar they have wet wipes. Therefore there is no need to use your lemonade at the end of the meal to wash your hands. I know what you're thinking why would anybody say something so absurd. Well I didn't imagine it, I watched it happen. My father-in-law was tired of waiting for the wet wipes to get there (please note that the wet wipes were there from the opening of restaurant) so he improvised by dipping one hand and then the other into his lemonade until his hands were sufficiently clean. The waiter either saw this or was told by another person that he was doing this. Moments after my father-in-law made his lemonade into something a little saltier the waiter returned and pointed out the wet wipes that were a few inches from his elbow. Oh the ensuing laughter. Thank you for dinner and show that night.

 

This past weekend represented Gigi's first visit to the Rio Tinto stadium to enjoy a Real game. She was a delightful little human there shouting the Believe anthem at the top of her little lungs. It was easily the most adorable rendition of that song in existence. The part of the game I want to talk about is the exit of the stadium. She was riding on my shoulders being her silly self saying silly things. At one point she was rubbing her cheek on my head and said, "Your hair is magical dad." After an accidental burp by me that she claimed as her own she began making fake flagellant noises and saying that it was the tree or the lamp or whatever she was looking at. For example she was looking at the UTA worker I was talking to. She made the noise and then said, "Dad, the guy farted." You just try and keep a straight face through that. Luckily the conversation was short and she doesn't talk very loud to strangers.

 

Trivia Time: Will the Jazz make the playoffs?

 

Quote of the Week (A Gigism): "Kids don't like bears." - Gigi

 

Have a good week I know I will

Eric Jones

www.oprahismymom.blogspot.com


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